Start With Why, you might recognize this phrase made famous by Simon Sinek and applied to business by companies and organizations, but have you thought about it for your birth? I will explain how this concept of starting with why is of fundamental importance to identifying how to prepare for your birth and what you need to make it happen.

In fact, look what happens when I take his wording from Simon's website and insert the words "pregnancy" and "birth"

Original:

"Imagine a world in which the vast majority of us wake up inspired, feel safe at work and return home fulfilled at the end of the day." ~Simon Sinek

Revised:

"Imagine a world in which the vast majority of pregnant women wake up inspired, feel safe in birth, and finish labor feeling fulfilled at the end of giving birth." 

When Simon Sinek explains the Start With Why concept, he draws three concentric circles, in the center is "why", the second ring is "how" and the third ring is "what".

Why does he put "why" in the center? Why is the purpose, the whole reason that we really do anything that we care about doing and without it, there is actually little motivation for us to do the work we need to do in many aspects of our lives. Let's take a simple chore, like doing the dishes, I can't speak for you, but most other moms I know don't love doing dishes, so why do we do it? Because we have to? Because we need something to eat off of? I don't believe those are the reasons, because we could easily buy a Costco supply of paper plates, cups and plastic utensils and never do another dish, but most of choose not to do that for our everyday meals. Why?

I know that little voice that nags at you when you stare longingly at the Costco paper plates and think, could we just….??? But, then you don't, because that voice, the Why gets in your head.

We do dishes because we want our families to have clean dishware to use so they stay healthy, we want our families to live in a clean environment free of pests and bacteria that dirty dishes would attract, and we believe using paper and plastic products in this way is wasteful and harmful for the environment. That is the purpose behind why we labor over dishes.

To circle this back to birth, when you imagined the kind of birth that you decided upon, there was a reason, a purpose, your why. Maybe you haven't defined it yet, maybe you don't have clarity on exactly why you feel drawn to the birth you want to have, the environment you want to be in, who you want to have at your birth, or maybe you don't yet what kind of birth experience you could have. Whatever stage you are in, defining your why will help you clarify how you will have the birth experience you want and what you need to get there.

If you start the journey backwards, start with the "what" you want to have, it is too easy to become caught up in focusing on the external factors, the data collecting - inductions, monitoring, c-sections, and so on. When you are overloaded with these informational pieces it easily leaves you full of fear, feeling like you have to defend your birth choices, and it even clouds your ability to make rational decisions because you become frozen in fear.

For Natural Birth Compass moms and their partners, they spend weeks learning about themselves and the why of their choices, so by the time labor begins, they are confident and prepared for the experience and able to have productive conversations with their care team if they should run into an unexpected challenge in their labor and birth. Often the decisions involving our most primordial needs aren't based in a logic we can explain, but come from a place of just feeling right.

I hear time and time again in the birth stories of my students, that when they go into their birth with their purpose and their confidence, with their why at the center of their decisions, their whole birth team has trust and confidence in the mother to know what her body needs and what her baby needs and they are able to have clear and respectful communication. I believe this comes from finding their inner why and entering birth with purpose and confidence instead of fear and defensiveness. This my friends, is my why for creating the Natural Birth Compass Program, so those who choose to follow this path can experience a birth that is empowering, transforming and strengthening.

So, what's your Birth Why?

Visit our facebook page and declare your Birth Why, it will help you arrive at your birth with purpose and confidence, it will help help inspire other soon-to-be moms learn to discover their own why! Maybe we will soon imagine a world in which the vast majority of pregnant women wake up inspired, feel safe in birth, and finish labor feeling fulfilled at the end of giving birth.