One of the reasons many of my students say they take a childbirth class is for their partners to get some exposure to what to expect for birth.

Childbirth classes are definitely a good exposure to the mechanics of birth and showing your partner how they can be a part of your comfort techniques, but is it is possible to prepare them even better to help them build more confidence in being the support they want to be for you?

A few birth partners get into class and they love it, they ask tons of questions and get excited for what's to come, the birth becomes real for them in the class. But far more of them come out of class feeling overwhelmed and sometimes more afraid after being exposed to the reality of birth - after all ignorance really can be bliss!

Childbirth classes are often focused on a few key topics - physiology of birth, comfort techniques, and communication about interventions. Physiology of birth teaches a lot of facts and details about birth, but it doesn't really help your birth partner understand how to help you through birth. Comfort techniques provides them hands on instruction of ways to physically help you, but I find they don't develop the confidence in when to use them and still feel they need you to direct them, but you may not have the capacity to do that at the time you need it most. Communication about interventions and knowing how to have those discussions with your care team is important for being prepared just in case, but it still isn't providing the piece about how your partner can really be there for you.

If you have read anything about our Natural Birth Compass childbirth preparation programs, you probably know that there is a core framework that I use to help expectant moms understand themselves, their strengths, their needs, and the cycle of birth. This same framework is used for the birth partner in our classes as well.

It is important that both the laboring mother and her partner understand their Inner Compass, each of their strengths and challenges and how they can use them together to work as a team. As we work with partners to help them become keenly aware of their environment and to watch for specific cues you are giving, they develop an intuition for what you need, and this is where the dance of labor and birth can really flourish. As you each learn about your own compass and yourselves, you also learn about each other, and you are even preparing to learn about your child as he or she enters your family and further as they grow into a toddler, a child, a teen and an adult.

For some couples, this will be a lot of work, for others it will come more naturally, but every couple learns about their relationship and not only does it help in your labor and birth, but as you become parents and deepen your relationship over the years of growing your family, you will find yourself coming back to your compass over and over. 

Learn more about how birth partners can excel in supporting your homebirth on the Unschooled Homebirth podcast, Episode 11, Strength in the Birth Room and Beyond, wherever you get podcasts!