When a couple writes a birth plan, it is with the hope and expectation that it will be respected and adhered to, but if your birth plan is written following the same format as most birth plans, it is not a formula for success.

The number one problem with birth plans is that they focus on the birth, and though this seems like what we should be focusing on, it's not actually the right approach if you want a birth plan that's  going to be a supportive document no matter where you give birth and no matter what comes up in your birth process.

What is the correct focus of your birth plan…you!!

Your birth plan should revolve around you and your needs, not specific aspects of your birth.

The aspects of birth that are traditionally contained in a birth plan - pain control, IV fluids, freedom of movement, birth position, these are going to be dependent on so many other factors of your birth and you may change your mind while your labor is in process, so in the end, it's not really very helpful for your birth team to have a list of what you think you will want and don't want in your birth.

The first step toward writing a birth plan about you and your needs is to do some exploration of your communication style, of your support preferences, and of your personal purpose behind choosing the type of birth you want. When you can express this on a birth plan for you, your birth partner and your birth team, you have tools for everyone to work with that are going to support your path toward your ideal birth.

In our birth plan class, we walk our students through 4-steps to creating their ideal birth plan, called the Birth Plan Blueprint and by the time they complete this blueprint, they have a birth plan that they feel confident about and that their birth team appreciates working with because they understand what will help the couple through their labor and birth.

What does this look like in action?

One of the steps of the 4 steps is to get clear on your communication style, first by getting clear on your everyday communication style and then transferring that to how you are likely to communicate in birth.

Some women are great at asking for the support they need and communicating their needs, they find it easy to vocalize their needs to their team, but other women don't actually find this so easy, for various reasons. You have to know this about yourself and share it with your birth team so they know what to anticipate from you, otherwise, they are left guessing about what you need at a time that you might feel really vulnerable.

For instance, if you are not asking for help, is that because you really don't need it or is it because you aren't comfortable asking for it and you need them to just offer it to you. Understanding this about yourself and sharing it with your birth team will take so much pressure out of the room and help everyone be clear in how to best help you.

Some people are very aware of their communication style, while for others, this might be a new realization. If you are not sure about your style of communication, starting now, I want you to observe how you go through your day to day life, even simple things like grocery shopping, if you can't find an item, do you ask for help or do you just get frustrated and leave without it?

To help students in our childbirth prep program, all of our students - expectant moms and their birth partners, go through a birth personality assessment I have created that helps you and your partner develop an understanding of your own communication style and each others styles, so that you go into your birth with an understanding of where each of you excel in communication and where you need to be mindful of helping each other out. With this knowledge in hand, you can prepare your birth team for what to expect of your communication style, so you can discuss whether you want your birth team to lay low knowing you are comfortable asking for help when you need it, or if you need your birth team to be checking in more frequently and offering suggestions and guidance.

Having this level of clarity in place for your birth team will make everything more smooth and will make everyone feel confident in the support they are offering you throughout your labor, and if your birth team changes throughout your birth, they can quickly get caught up in how to communicate with you because it is clearly written out for them.

Keep going with your birth plan for homebirth on the Unschooled Homebirth podcast, Episode 48 and avoid these three common mistakes of homebirth birth plans! Listen wherever you get podcasts!