You have your list of questions from the internet to interview your birth provider, questions about how they handle all kinds of potential labor or birth scenarios, how long they will let you go overdue, what their c-section rate is, will they allow delayed cord clamping, etc., etc., and this might be a great start to getting to know your birth provider, but how can you really learn their perspective of birth?

Unfortunately, it is common for birth providers to give you the answers you are hoping to hear early in your pregnancy, when the thought of going overdue or the decision of when to clamp the cord are months away. Then when it comes time to follow through, things somehow don't go as expected at all.

There are multiple reasons for this. Unforeseen complications may actually arise that do necessitate an intervention you didn't expect, you may change your birth requests, or you may actually have a doctor who does not really believe the answers they gave you at the time you asked the questions, but they didn't want to discuss the details with you at the time.

In many situations, doctors are used to giving "orders", the actual term they use is "doctor's order", they naturally expect you and the birth team will just go with what they say because they are in the position of authority.

 But, today, we know that many of the birth practices in hospitals are outdated and not backed by evidence, so you need a fail proof way to assess if your birth provider is actually a good fit for you.

So forget asking about delayed cord clamping, c-section rates, vitamin K and laboring on your back, I have three questions you can actually use to get a clear idea of how your birth provider feels about birth.

1. What is the most interesting thing you have seen in regard to birth?

If your birth provider is truly supportive of what's best for the majority of healthy births, then they have likely seen moms who have followed strong instincts in how they manage their contractions or birth itself. If they have stories of interesting things, they are probably more likely to support natural birth. If they don't have anything interesting to share, the women they attend probably all birth in the same couple of ways - on their back or via c-section, if this is not what you want, keep interviewing candidates.

2. What would be your perfect birth?

I am not saying that birth is perfect or has to be perfect, but if your potential provider gives very specific facts and data - rates of cervical dilation, timing of the process, what interventions may or may not be necessary to outline the perfect birth, this might be a red flag. If, on the other hand, they describe birth as a transformative event where they witness a woman becoming a mother, finding her inner strength to give to her child as they work together through the process no matter how long it takes, a birth led by the laboring mother and supported by her birth partner with multiple comfort techniques and changes of position, with guidance from the birth team only as needed, this is a provider who understands the perfect imperfection of birth.

3. What is the most important lesson you have learned assisting women in labor?

Anyone who loves birth, who is in awe of the strength of laboring women and overwhelmed at the experience every time a new baby enters the world is going to have a whole bag of lessons they have learned from their work. Life doesn't get more raw than being a part of natural birth, so if your provider isn't totally blown away by the inspiration of birth itself, they might not be invested enough in your positive birth outcome to be the provider for you.

Next time you have an appointment with your care provider, ask them these three questions and assess their response. Do they love the conversation or is it taking them outside their comfort zone? This will give you far more insight into their respect for natural birth than whether or not they do routine episiotomies.

Share your stories of the best reactions you hear on our facebook page and share these questions with someone you know who's natural birth will benefit - they will thank you for it!